Two Very Popular Apps Your Kid Might Have Going Back to School

by Seth Woolcock

As your kid heads back to school this year with their new blue jeans and Nikes, they may also be taking two new apps along with them.

One is “TikTok,” a popular short-form video sharing app that is currently #1 on the Apple App Store. The other is “YOLO,” a new anonymous question and answer app students can use as a plug-in with Snapchat. It is #18 on the app store.

While these apps might help your kid pass time on their bus ride home or during lunch, there are also some real dangers that parents need to be aware of.

TikTok and Sharing Private Information

TikTok is a social media service that is designed to let users watch, create and share videos. Often times these videos are filled with today’s top music hits, which users have access to for free.

Originally known as “musical.ly,” before that app merged with TikTok in August 2018, this social media channel combines several key concepts from other popular apps.

It has the feel of “Vine,” a former, popular video sharing service that was known for its hilarious 6-second videos. But unfortunately, due to a lack of revenue, Twitter shut down Vine in January 2017.

When I was a tween myself, Vine was insanely popular for a summer. While I didn’t have a smart phone at the time, all my friends were using it. And from what I remember of the app, it was mostly filled with people doing dumb stunts in order to get likes.

TikTok uses the same rabbit-hole tactic that YouTube uses to hook young users. It pre-loads the next video to keep you from leaving the app.

But just like any social media, the real concern is the amount of private information your kid could be sharing with the world. TikTok makes it easy to share too much information with strangers. In fact, by default, TikTok accounts are set to public, which allows ANYONE to see your videos and location information, and it allows anyone to direct message you.

To learn how to change your kid’s TikTok settings to private, check out this short video. It literally only takes a minute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgrGwn60yyE

By the way, TikTok had to make a settlement with the Federal Trade Commission this year for illegally obtaining children’s personal information. In response, the app created a section just for children. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/press-releases/2019/02/video-social-networking-app-musically-agrees-settle-ftc  However, this can easily be bypassed by providing a false birth date.

Of course, the other major issue with this app is the content kids are watching. Because popular music has a large amount of foul and sexualized language today, your kid might be exposing themselves to this language as well as watching people dance in suggestive ways. Maybe you’re not ready for your kid to watch this.

YOLO and the Danger or Anonymous Apps

When I was growing up, the acronym “YOLO” became popular. It meant “You Only Live Once”.  Pretty tame, I guess, but the app is potentially more dangerous, I think.

The app YOLO encourages users to “get anonymous answers” as soon as they are logged into the app. You can either create your own question to ask, or use the “dice” that will prompt a pre-made question. The app then encourages you to post the answers on your Snapchat story.

I have seen a lot of people say some fairly inappropriate things to others using this app. My big concern is cyber bullying. The app is popular enough that a lot of kids could be targeted by these anonymous comments.

According to, the Pew Research Center (https://www.pewinternet.org/2018/09/27/a-majority-of-teens-have-experienced-some-form-of-cyberbullying/), last year at this time, more than 59 percent of teens said they experienced some sort of cyber bullying.

Former anonymous social media apps, like “Ask.FM,” “Sarahah” and “YikYak,” created social havoc in my high school, in my opinion. There was such an outcry that a letter was sent home to parents asking them to get their children to stop using these apps. If I remember correctly, iTunes and the Google Play store actually kicked off Sarahah from their platforms in 2018, after they received enormous amounts of backlash because of cyber bullying.  https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-43174619

Ironically, I believe tweens use these anonymous social media apps so they can get acceptance from their peers. However, they often get the inverse.

I think it’s crucial that kids grow up slowly with these apps. You will want to have a serious conversation with your kid about these apps. Sharing personal information and getting caught up in cyber bullying are just two of the issues you should discuss. Try some of our links if you want to learn more.

More helpful Links:

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/parents-ultimate-guide-to-musically

https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/06/18/yolo-app-raises-bullying-concerns/1292307001/

Overly Connected but Feeling Socially Alone

Desmond Brown pic
By Desmond Brown

In today’s always connected world, we have the means to contact other people with the click of a button. But though we may be more connected than ever, it doesn’t mean feelings of isolation are gone.  For kids growing up in the modern “Internet Age”, isolation may even be worse.

Unfortunately, a recent study at the University of Pittsburgh in 2017 confirmed this. It found that young adults who are the most frequent users of social media experience more social isolation compared to those who use it the least. The authors believe this may be due to a variety of factors. These include viewing friends online having fun and not being invited, seeing people doing things that seem fun and sparking feelings of envy, and spending more time online than having real life experiences. All of these, they speculate, contribute to feelings of isolation.

Social isolation can have big effects

As children grow up today, I think this “social isolation phenomenon” is something to watch out for. Maybe particularly during the tumultuous time of adolescence. Kids are more susceptible to feelings of being left out when their friends are doing things together without them.

One source says that the effects of social isolation are very negative. They include less restful sleep, an increased stress response by the body, more alcohol and drug use, and even a greater risk of suicide.

I remember feeling socially isolated at times when I was in middle school and high school. My friends would post what they were doing on Facebook (which had just started getting widely popular) and I would see how happy they seemed. To teenage me, it was disheartening to see people having fun without me. Sometimes they were meeting up with my friends in real life I’d have to hear or see the stories later.

I’m old enough that this was before Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat blew up. Imagine how your teen might feel today with all of these social media outlets at their disposal. They might see their friends having fun. Maybe they’ll see other people doing an activity they wanted to do.

What can parents do?

One source suggests five things parents can do about this. One is to encourage volunteering. This improves mental health and can be very pleasurable. Does your kid like animals? Or small children? Can they help out at an aging facility? The possibilities are endless.

Also, make exercise a priority. We all know about endorphins and how they help our mood. Don’t just rely on physical ed at school, or team sports. Encourage them to hike with you, or take a family bike ride. Again, the possibilities are endless.

Third, schedule some “off screen” time. Eat a family meal with no phones allowed. Watch a show together. Maybe game with your kid (without the head set).

Also, get them outside. Nature has lots of good effects on our mood and mental health. And finally, talk to your kid. Have repeated meaningful conversations about their friends, about life, and about their mental health. What are they thinking and feeling? Learn how to be patient and helpful, not judgmental or authoritative.

The bottom line

The Internet is a wonderful tool to help connect with others, but it has the potential to make us feel bad also. Parents, try to help your child understand that social media interactions are not the only interactions they can have. And that seeing other people having fun doesn’t mean you’ve been left out. You’ll have that fun when you see them next time.

We have numerous posts that talk about activities you could do with your kids, as well as what you should do to protect your child online. Check out our links below.

Links:

http://d-scholarship.pitt.edu/35420/

https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/teenage-isolation/

How to Talk to Your Daughter about her Clothes

pic of Megan D

by Megan Donny

“Go back upstairs and change.” 

My father said those words to me about 5 minutes before I had to leave for my first high school dance. 

Despite my anger, I retreated to my bedroom where I changed into a less revealing dress for the dance. 

Hearing your own father chastise your fashion choices as a teenage girl with a fragile self-esteem was a devastating experience for me. 

Parents tend to restrict what their young daughters wear in order to avoid drawing unwanted attention to themselves and their children. While parents almost always have their children’s well-being in mind, at times they can step over the line. 

How parents can cross the line 

For the last year, I’ve worked at a popular girls clothing store and have watched parents tell their children what they can and cannot try on.

While it is understandable that a parent doesn’t want their children wearing items they don’t deem to be appropriate, some parents don’t understand why their daughters are dressing the way they do. 

Most middle school and even high school girls aren’t dressing scantily because they are seeking male attention. They dress in the clothing marketed to them by every clothing store with a teenage demographic. 

When parents don’t have an open and honest discussion with their children about why they do not want them dressing a certain way, the children usually end up feeling angry or insecure about themselves or their bodies.  

When I was told I could not wear the dress I had picked out for the school dance, I felt as if my father did it just to spite me. He never explained to me why he believed I shouldn’t wear it to the dance. If he had told me he was worried about what other people might think of me and my family, we could’ve had a discussion that ended with me going to the dance feeling better because I would have known he had my best interests in mind.

By limiting what their children wear, parents are restricting their children’s self-expression and potentially leading their child to instead sneak around their parents when they don’t approve of their clothing.  

How social media affects children and parents

Today, everyone’s lives are exposed like tabloids on social media. What a lot of young teenagers don’t understand is what they are seen wearing in pictures on Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook can affect how people think about them as well as their family. 

When a teenager posts an OOTD (outfit of the day) picture of herself in a bikini, more people see the picture than she probably knows. One of her friends may see the photograph and then show it to her own mother, who will then make assumptions about how the mother of the girl in the bikini chooses to parent her daughter. 

Parents try their best to avoid being perceived as having a careless or relaxed parenting style. Which is why social media has become every parent’s worst nightmare. Now that children can share as many photos of their clothing choices as they want, more parents are being criticized for letting their children wear what many stores are selling today. 

By talking to your children about how social media can impact how people view them and their family today as well as in the future, hopefully they will choose to be more cautious about what they post online. 

How to talk to your daughter about her clothing choices 

Approaching the subject on what you believe your daughter should or should not wear can be tricky, especially since most teenage girls are stubborn and have a very sensitive self-esteem. You don’t want to accidentally offend them by saying that they shouldn’t be wearing a certain article of clothing to school. 

Parents.com author Kara Corridan discusses different ways to speak to your tween daughter on what she wears. She suggests speaking to your child about her clothing choices when she is “feeling relaxed and not in the spotlight.” This means the best time to talk isn’t when she is trying to pick out an outfit before school or when you are shopping. Instead, Corridan says to speak to your daughter when you are both spending some down-time at home. 

Corridan also suggests having an open discussion with your child where you ask them questions about their style in a non-judgmental tone.  Instead of shutting the conversation down with a few words like “go change,” ask them “why did you choose that outfit?” By understanding why your daughter chooses to dress in clothing you may object to, it will be easier to explain your concerns to her. 

Author/educator Michelle Icard says that honesty is the best policy when it comes to talking about this subject with your daughter. She proposes telling your daughter that she is old enough to make her own choices and that she should know when her clothes may draw unwanted attention. 

While this approach may not be best for every parent, some need to know when to let their daughter make her own choices and when to intervene. Sometimes it’s best to let your children make their own mistakes and learn from them. Teenage girls express themselves through fashion and they need to be able to experiment with new styles. How you choose to handle what they wear is up to you. 

Useful Links:

https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/heidi-stevens/ct-life-stevens-wednesday-how-daughter-dresses-0814-story.html

https://www.parents.com/parents-magazine/parents-perspective/how-to-talk-to-your-daughter-about-what-shes-wearing/


Helping Your Kids with Negative Emotions

By Katie Mest

Parents, I’ll be honest with you. There have been quite a few times I’ve had to lock myself away in my room or run to the bathroom at school to cry out a problem.

Most of the time, the problem itself wasn’t a big deal. But small issues pile up until sometimes you feel an overwhelming wave of emotions crashing down on you.

Often I’ll have a week in which this seems to happen every other day.

And that worries me.

I’m aware of the current statistics of mental health-related issues in people my age. It’s not uncommon to come across a friend who’s in therapy (or should be) for depression or anxiety.

Every time I get to a place where I feel I might be getting into the “I need more help than just myself” territory, I take a step back and evaluate where I am, the severity of my problems, and how I can stop the panic mode.

I know I’m not the only one with that self-awareness. So that leads me to the latest news regarding your teen and their mental health.

Examine negative emotions

A new study from the University of Rochester (June 2019) shows that kids who are able to describe their negative emotions have a better chance of warding off depression than those who struggle with verbalizing their feelings. (Depression in this case can mean depression-like symptoms after a stressful event or actual clinical depression later in life.)

Science Daily interviewed the lead author of the study, who said that thinking through your emotions can help you develop a plan to then overcome those emotions.

What this means is that communicating with your teen is key to their mental health. Not only will you have a better understanding of what’s going on in your child’s head, but you can actually help them be more mindful of their own thoughts and feelings.

Find the source of stress

Midterm exams. A big game. A rocky relationship. Friend drama. The list can go on and on.

The trick is finding the source of the negative emotions and dissecting how and why it made your kid feel bad.

Is she upset that her friend ignored her one text, or does she think that she and her friend are drifting apart? Is your son angry that he missed a goal that could’ve won the game, or is he feeling a lot of pressure to perform well on the field because his grades are slipping?

Is it overthinking? Are the negative emotions valid? Do they have too much on their plate?

Make “talking it out” a normal part of the process

 Think of how much time you could save yourself if you analyzed every situation that stressed you out. You’d be golden.

It’s not an easily attainable goal, but it’s one we should all strive to have.

I’ve designated my mom as my go-to person for emotional issues. Sometimes she gets a very detailed text listing all the bad things that happened in my day that led to the bad mood I was in while writing the text. Sometimes I just share with her that I decided to skip coffee that morning because I knew I would have a busy morning and caffeine would only heighten my anxiety.

She sits on the phone with me when I need to talk out my problems out loud. She gives me advice to lessen my stress factors. And sometimes all I need is validation that the emotions I’m feeling about a situation aren’t completely moronic and childish.

What if you and your teen don’t have the kind of relationship in which you have heart-to-hearts every other day?

Offer anyway. It will always be in the back of their mind that mom or dad is there if they really need help.

Also, share your own experiences. It makes you relatable. Your kid can think of you more as a peer instead of an authority figure and in turn might be more open to opening up.

Encourage them to find their go-to person. If you know in your heart that there’s no way your teen is going to come to you with something like this, suggest that they consult with a good friend whenever they get stressed or overwhelmed.

Useful Links:

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/06/190628120447.htm

https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2019-35689-001

What are today’s teens and preteens streaming into their TV?

By Seth Woolcock

It was the summer of 2011. The final episode of Disney Channel’s “The Suite Life on Deck,” starring Dylan and Cole Sprouse, was on. It marked the end of my childhood, as I knew it.

I was 13-years-old and three years removed from my other favorite tween cable shows, “Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide,” “Drake & Josh” and “Zoey 101”. All ended, I might add, prematurely.

Growing up, my parents weren’t always around when I got home from school. So, with my Spaghetti-O’s or Easy Mac in hand, I watched them every afternoon. I felt like I grew up with these actors and actresses.

When they were over, I felt lost. Like a chapter of my life was suddenly over. All the laughs, all the stories and all the countless life lessons – gone!

I knew it was time to find new show, even though the constant reruns on “Teen Nick” were some comfort. Of course, I could just wait around until ESPN decided to start speculating again if Bret Farve was going to come out of retirement. But in July, football season seemed so far way. (Yes, even at 13 I was hooked on football.)

I began exploring new channels. What I stumbled upon was a collection of great ‘90s, coming-of-age series, like “Saved by the Bell” and “Boy Meets World”. Thanks to Mr. Belding and Mr. Feeney I continued to learn valuable life lessons, like, tell a close friend the truth even if it will make them made, and, be very careful of caffeine pills.

I also came across shows more grown up shows, like “That’s 70’s Show,” “Freaks and Geeks” and “How I Met Your Mother.”  Masterpieces, but I was too naive at the time to get all of the drug and sexual references went over my head.  However, kids these days are exposed to more on social media. They might not be so clueless.

Today’s Tween/Teen Shows

Let’s face it. Today’s kids stream. This means they don’t have to choose from just the 5-6 cable channels I had to choose from. They can log into Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, etc… and find any show they want.

It’s hard to single out what teens are watching from all of the data, so let’s look at the the top streamed shows on Netflix, the hottest service amongst preteens/teens. In January, Netflix released data on some of its most viewed shows. It’s measured as a percentage of all Netflix shows, with the data pulled from web browsers from January 2018- November 2018.

pic of Netflix top shows
Netflix top streaming TV shows in 2018

I’ve pulled out a few of them that I think many teens are watching. Maybe your kid is watching one of these. If so, do you know what’s in it?

“Shameless”

Showtime’s “Shameless” began airing in 2011. It wasn’t until 2017 that the show exploded on Netflix. Suddenly everyone was talking about the ups and downs of the alcoholic Frank Gallagher and his six children.

This show can come across as extremely entertaining and seemingly realistic. However, it is very inappropriate for preteens or teens. There’s swearing, nudity, sex and drug references throughout, make it tough watch for even some adults. While some may say it teaches important lessons, overall, we agree with this review, that parents will find it is best suited for age 17+.

“13 Reasons Why”

Originally released as a Netflix Original in March in March 2017, “13 Reasons Why” builds a story around a topic often left out of popular media – suicide.

The show follows Clay Jensen as he listens to a series of audio tapes left behind by Hannah, his deceased classmate and former love interest. 

Since the show’s release, there has been both praise and disapproval of the show’s premise. Some say it commercializes suicide and mental health related diseases.

Recently, Netflix actually removed two scenes after the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry published a study showing that suicide by people aged 10-17 “dramatically increased” in the months following the release of the show. You can check out what some parents are saying about the show and decide for yourself if your preteen/teen is ready to watch it.

“Stranger Things”

Another Netflix original, “Stranger Things,” is a science fiction horror series that has three seasons available for streaming on Netflix.

On the surface, the show is a sci-fi that follows events in a fictitious town called Hawkins, Indiana. It’s set in 1983 and it follows the disappearance of a young boy. Many other supernatural events also take place but there’s also a lot of I’m not diving into the show myself, but I suggest you take five minutes and watch YouTube parent Nick Shell. He has a very interesting take on the show.

“Riverdale”

This show starts one of my early favorite childhood actors, Cole Sprouse (remember, the “Suite” life shows?)   “Riverdale” was released in 2017 but it’s already very popular.  It’s based on the Archie Comics, but it’s much darker than the comic book you might remember. I think you may want to leave this one “on the shelf” for your preteen/teen. Some of the mysteries revolve around the murder of a local boy and an affair between a student and teacher. One reviewer called it “adult content packaged as a kid show.”

Finally

Hey, there’s always going to be new TV shows. And your kid may know about them faster than you. What can you do?  For starters, you can at least look up the title and see what others are saying about the show.

Here are two links we thought were very useful. Keep them bookmarked. Don’t be shy about asking your kid what they’re watching.

And don’t be afraid to have them watch an old favorite. The “Suite Life” series never gets old. Will they ever get out of that hotel or off the boat? I hope not.

Useful Links:

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/reviews

http://w2.parentstv.org/main/

Stress impacts your tween, too. Help them through it with these tips.

By Katie Mest

Everyone experiences stress, and each person deals with it in his or her own way. But does your tween know how to handle the stresses of life?

Stress is how the body responds to outside factors. This can be any kind of decision your body has to make.

We often think of stress as the way we feel when our boss hands us a large number of tasks to get done in a short period of time, or when we have to get our house cleaned before guests arrive. It’s overwhelming, frustrating, and overall exhausting.

So how does your tween deal with the stress in their lives?

Homework. Tests. Maintaining relationships. Any kind of pressures.

They feel it, too. So it’s important to talk with your tween to make sure they have healthy coping mechanisms for tough times.

Here are some ways to help your tween manage stress.

Understand how their bodies react to stress.

This could be increased heart rate, inability to focus, difficulty sleeping, etc. These factors can be extremely counterproductive to dealing with whatever is causing the stress in the first place. Knowing the signs of stress on the body ahead of time can help them process the situation.

Help them know what is in their control and what isn’t.

 Putting off that paper until the last minute will only lead to a stressful night, but planning to get it done ahead of the due date will provide time to go over it again and not worry. Free time is necessary to relax so the body can deal with conflict when it arises. If your tween can control what’s in their schedule, evaluate with them whether they are taking on more activities than they can handle.

Practice positive talk.

Stress can lead to negative self-talk, such as talking down to oneself and telling yourself you aren’t good enough. It leads to convincing yourself you aren’t capable of finishing it and can hinder your productivity for a decent amount of time. If this seems like a lot for an adult, think of how it is for a tween.

Find a relaxing activity.

One thing I’ve learned from my mom is that exercising and getting fresh air helps me get out of my head and get back to rational thinking. When I would get overwhelmed with work or overthink a situation, she would go on a walk around the block with me and talk things out. I could get out of my room and into a new environment, and it always left me in a better state of mind to take on my problem. You could try activities like exercising, meditation, listening to music, stepping away from the cause of stress for a little, taking deep breaths, etc.

One thing to remember is that the biggest way your tween learns how to handle difficult situations is by watching you.

So what do you do? Curse at it and yell? Or problem solve in a calm manner?

For more information on managing stress, visit the National Institute of Mental Health and CincinnatiChildrens.org.

Links to related content:

What is an “influencer”? And what’s it got to do with your tween?

pic of Morgan Rihn

By Morgan Rihn

Maybe you’ve heard of an “influencer” – the newest big thing in advertising. It’s all the rage right now.

It starts with an average person (or celebrity) who has an opinion. They build a following, and finally, brands jump on board and pay them either with cash or free product to promote the brand’s products.

There are influencers in beauty, fashion, fitness, gaming and more. It’s a marketing strategy that’s becoming widely successful. And you should know about it.

Where are influencers seen?

Instagram is the most popular platform for influencers. Just scroll through your ‘Explore Page’ on Instagram to find numerous influencers you might like. But influencers are on other social media platforms, too. YouTube is a  popular place, and so is Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter.

Popular (adult) influencers

Influencers often are celebrities. This make sense. Its easier for them to get a large following. In general, more views = more business. Kylie Jenner is the highest paid celebrity influencer. She earns $1 million per sponsored Instagram post. Selena Gomez receives $800,000 per post and Christiano Ronaldo earns $750,000. Kim Kardashian West, Beyoncé, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and many more make millions from sponsored posts.

But many top influencers are not household names. For example, here are a few of 2018’s top influencers:

Huda Kattan
  • Makeup artist
  • Beauty blogger
  • Founder of Huda Beauty
  • 24.3 million Instagram followers
  • 2.2 million YouTube subscribers
Cameron Dallas
  • Actor in “Expelled,” “The Outfield,” & “Chasing Cameron”
  • Well-known for his Instagram content
  • 20.7 million Instagram followers
  • 3.8 million Facebook followers
James Charles
  • Male spokesperson for beauty
  • Covergirl’s first male spokesmodel
  • 2.1 million Instagram followers
  • 15.9 million YouTube subscribers
Joanna Gaines
  • HGTV’s Fixer Upper host
  • Magnolia Homes, renovation business, owner with husband Chip
  • Instagram reflects her work and personal life
  • 4.8 million Instagram followers
Do influencers influence youth?

There’s no doubt celebrities and influencers are having an effect on America’s youth. A company called Mintel (link) has reported that one third of kids aged 6-17 consider their top role models to be social media stars, i.e. influencers. This outranks actors, athletes, musicians and even the President.

Also, for kids, YouTube is the second most common source of information about new entertainment and toys, behind only TV commercials. This is not really a surprise. The current generation of youngsters already represent buying power of over $44 billion (link) with an additional $600 billion of family-spending also influenced by this generation.

Is there a problem here?

Maybe. Many parents don’t know that the FCC regulates TV content for children. However, they don’t have a say over Internet content. For example, there have been long standing rules about how much time in each TV show can show commercials, whether a TV show can show a product (called “product placement”), and if there was any compensation for that product placement. The regulators and protectors of children have long had their eye on TV.

But that’s not the case with social media and Internet influencers. Regulators are only now beginning to ask: “Should there be a visible disclaimer if a social media personality is being paid to endorse a product? Should there be restrictions on how much ‘content’ is pure advertising? Should there be quality checks on content for effects on health and safety?”

But you’re probably saying: “But really, what’s the big deal? It’s just stuff my kid watches to entertain themselves? Is it really having any impact?”

“Yes” is the short answer. Though this is so new not many studies are out yet, one study did find that influencers can change what your child eats. (link)

And the Bloomberg news service recently had a panel discussion on how YouTube’s children-focused channels actually have a lot of paid advertising disguised as content.

Do you need to panic? We don’t yet think so. But it is a good idea to monitor closely what your child is consuming on social media. And to find out who they follow and why they follow them.

Be aware that your kid is marketed to just as heavily as every other target demographic. Companies want their business. Meanwhile, Internet regulations with regard to children are not nearly as sophisticated and ingrained as TV rules, so it’s a bit more “user beware” out there.

And don’t forget – they don’t call them “influencers” because they have NO effect on your kid – or the bottom line of the company…

Some other useful links:

https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/social-media-influencers-influential-2018/

https://influencermarketinghub.com/top-25-instagram-influencers/

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/31/kylie-jenner-makes-1-million-per-paid-instagram-post-hopper-hq-says.html

And check out our other blogs on…

The Top 3 Viral Challenges from the Past Year

By Katie Mest

Everyone likes a good challenge, your kids included. When a dare is involved, kids have no choice but to step up to whatever challenge they’ve just been confronted with – innocent, funny or extremely dangerous.

2018 brought more dangerous ones than anything else. Here are the top 3 and the lessons they’ve taught parents and caretakers.

The Drake “In My Feelings” Challenge

The “In My Feelings” Challenge had kids walking along the passenger side of a car dancing the choreographed steps to the Drake song. Most times, the car was rolling along with no help from acceleration, so the speed was close to nothing. While it could have been mostly harmless if kids chose to do the challenge in an empty cul-de-sac or a quiet street, many accepted the challenge at stop lights and on regular-traffic, two-lane roads. (link1 and link2)

The Danger:
  • Putting themselves in the way of passing cars
  • Not slowing the car enough and injuring themselves getting out
The Lesson:
  • Any challenge involving a car is mostly dangerous, especially when the passengers/drivers are barely legal or not legal to drive the vehicle.

Tide Pod Challenge

This challenge needs little explanation at this point. Earlier in 2017-18, kids decided to start eating Tide Pods. Toxic laundry detergent. It’s not necessarily new that kids ingest things they shouldn’t. But the U.S. poison control centers had 10,000 calls because of the pods in 2017 alone. (link)

I confess, when I was in middle school/high school, many kids were eating mouthfuls of cinnamon and choking when their mouths got too dry.  They also tried the “Chubby Bunny” challenge. They stuffed their mouths as full as they could with marshmallows. Many people ended up choking or throwing up.

The Danger:
  • Using a poisonous substance
  • Using items for something other than their intended purpose
The Lesson:
  • Even though your tweens are growing up and you don’t think you have to remind them not to eat unsafe items…
  • …remind them not to eat unsafe items.

Zoom Challenge

This is when the subject sits on the ground, motioning like they’re shifting gear in a car, and a second person pulls their legs, so they speed away out of the frame. (link1 and link2)

The Danger:
  • Pulling the subject so hard they smack their head off the ground
The Lesson:
  • It looked harmless on the surface, but having someone else in control of your body will likely result in injury at some point in time.

2019 is looking a little more promising when it comes to challenges.

So far, we’ve seen the “What the Fluff” Challenge, confusing dogs by “disappearing” behind a blanket; the “Snoot” challenge, making a hole with your fingers and having dogs stick their noses in it; and the “Trash Tag” challenge, encouraging people to take before and after pictures of an area of nature filled with trash and cleaning it up.

The moral of the story is not all challenges are bad, but analyze the challenges you see popping up on your social media and ask yourself (a) would my kid try this, and (b) do I want them trying this.

But remember, many times your kid will see a new viral challenge before you do. Encourage them to practice commons sense and think about the consequences of their actions.

For a little bit more from us on pop culture and social media, try…

Be Careful With Those Buy/Sell/Trade Apps

By Seth Woolcock

Hey parents. This one’s about YOU and YOUR KIDS. 

It’s always important that you keep up with the latest “technology” trends. Particularly if they might pose a risk to you and your family. A Twitter thread that recently went viral was posted by SaraSuze (@tragedythyme). It was a reminder about using apps to meet up with strangers.

pic of tweet by SaraSuze

(Here’s a link to the tweet: https://twitter.com/tragedythyme

Luckily, the tweet did not tell of an attack, but it did go viral. Probably because many women want men to know it isn’t as easy for them to do something that most men don’t worry about – like meeting a stranger to buy, sell or trade something.

Sara was using the app LetGo. It’s a very popular app. Currently #26 on the Apple App Store.  Many similar apps are also popular, like Offer Up, Vinted, and DeClutter.

It’s true that these apps are slowly phasing out traditional trading sites like eBay or Craiglist. And no one really thinks the younger generation is going to be reading the classified ads (if newspapers still exist). So it’s likely your kid will eventually use one of these apps.

On the positive side, the apps are easy to navigate, and many have filters that make them a more convenient buying and selling experience.  But it is still the case you don’t necessarily know who you’re communicating with. Fortunately, I’ve had mostly good experiences. 

For example, I’ve also used LetGo. It is a basic buying and selling app. Users post items for sale, communicate with potential customers, and hopefully sell the item once you meet up in person. The biggest con many might experience with the app is that you can’t pay within the app, so sometimes closing the deal can be a drag.

I bought a Long Board once using the app, and it was as easy as showing up at a lady’s door, handing the woman $25, and taking the board home.

I’ve also used Facebook’s Marketplace. Ironically, this might be one of the safer methods because you can easily check out the person’s profile before you meet with them. Of course, just because the person’s profile looks legit doesn’t mean it always is. There are some fake bot profiles that post items and vehicles that are too good to be true, in an attempt to scam you. But, I actually did buy my car off of Facebook Marketplace and it went surprisingly well. I got a reliable car for a great deal from an honest guy who was moving South with his family. But I’ve also had friends whose experiences did not go as well.

It doesn’t take much work to find a news story about a bad buying experience on one of these apps. Pooja St. Amand, of Middletown, Connecticut, told ABC News in a 2017 interview that she was robbed after attempting to sell an iPad. Although she took proper precautions by meeting the stranger in a populated community center parking lot, she still felt she was put in serious danger.  (link)

I’ve also used OfferUP.  It’s pretty much identical to LetGo, though some say it has worse customer service. I used this app when I sold some old KC Lights that go on top of a car. I had a good experience and the buyer came the next day to pick them up for his Jeep Wrangler.

Some other apps I haven’t tried include Vinted, a sales app used for trading older clothing and other vintage items specifically, and, Declutter, an online yard sale. There’s also thredUp, a newer app for selling secondhand clothing.

Tips to stay safe when buying and selling online

Although all of my online buying and selling experiences were OK, they did get me thinking after I read @tragedythyme’s tweet. What if they hadn’t? And what if I was smaller, or a woman, or teen? I was a guy, over 18 years old, and I did take a few precautions.

So after a little bit of research I discovered these tips for using buy/sell/trade apps:

Call your local police department to find a safe meet-up spot.

People used to say to meet a stranger in a public space, such as the parking lot of a McDonalds. It used to be just make sure there is enough light so you are visible.

But because of recent stories of assaults and robberies during meet-ups even in public areas, some local police departments have set up designated safe meet-up spots. Most of them are located in the parking lot of the police station. I agree – that should work.

Bring a friend.

Whether you’re the buyer or the seller, it’s always good to be on the safe side and make sure you or your kids are not meeting a stranger alone. The more the merrier, I think.

Use your phone.

That might feel obvious, but it bears repeating – always have your phone. And maybe make sure other people know you are making a transaction. Share your location with your friend, spouse or family member. And keep “location tracking” turned on.  To learn how to enable this on your iOS device or Android, click here.

Use cash and avoid giving out personal information.

I discovered you should only bring the agreed upon amount of cash. And while it’s always nice to meet a friendly face, don’t let your guard down. Also, avoid giving up crucial personal information, such as your address, bank information, occupation or social security number.

Trust your gut.

At the end of the day, you have to listen to that little voice inside your head. Be aware of your surroundings and leave if things somehow begin to go south. No amount of money is worth your safety and well-being.

Will this danger get worse in the future?

As time goes on, it seems likely the dangers of meeting strangers with buy/sell/trade apps will only grow. For example, very recently, three LetGo-related attacks occurred in a small Delaware community (link )

Most of these occurred while people were buying or selling a smartphone. The attackers took the victims’ cellphones and wallets. One victim was even injured.

 So, at the end of the day, YOU and YOUR KIDS need to be careful with these apps. You have to be sure to set a good example. And be aware of your kids online behavior. Are they going to start buying and selling things online? You’ll want to know.

For some of our other blogs on your kid’s technology, try:

Can the Internet be a Positive Thing for Your Tween?

pic of Morgan Rihn
by Morgan Rihn

The Good in The World is ALSO at their fingertips

In a world full of negativity, it can be hard sometimes to spot the positive. Media companies purposefully hype up the bad news because it gives them more customers (and therefore, more money through advertising). Why is that? Because, sadly, we want bad news.  Numerous studies have confirmed it (for example, click here and here) and when a news site goes totally positive, it loses readership big time (click here).

But positive things are happening every day. Sometimes they happen slowly, so they don’t make great news stories. For example, CNN recently thought of a few great things that happened in 2018:

  • North and South Korea ended the Korean War.
  • The United States’ unemployment rate was the lowest it has been since 1969.
  • Women in Saudi Arabia were finally allowed to drive.
  • Researchers developed a 10-minute cancer test.
  • 157 new species were discovered in Southeast Asia.
  • A record number of minority and gay athletes competed in the Olympics.
  • NASA’s Insight captured the first sounds of wind on Mars.

The Online World and your Tween

So, good things are happening. But what about the online world?  Any parent knows that today’s kids are more plugged in than ever before. In fact, one estimate is that, because of smartphones and computer screens, 1 in 3 Internet users are now adolescents or children.

And I must confess: we here at 2020 Parenting have even written several blogs warning about the dangers of Internet “stuff”: Too much time on YouTube?, Is FOMO worse because of the Internet?, Is Instagram hurting self-esteem?, and so on….

But maybe it’s not all bad (as a recent Huffington Post article declared). A really cool book that came out in Jan. 2019 (link at bottom) argues that several good things are happening because your kid can access the Internet:

Learning is possible anytime.  As our own example, consider DuoLingo, a free app that allows anyone to learn a language on their phone 24/7. Dr. Lauber is currently using it to learn Spanish and he says he loves it. Your kid will have more opportunities to learn than any generation before. And online communities are forming around these platforms. This will allow your children to find friends who share their hobbies and interests.

Social media can help tweens strengthen their current relationships. Did you know that more than 90% of teens say they use social media to connect daily with people they know in real life? And that’s even true for gaming. More than 75% say they play with real friends and they feel more connected because of it. Teens say they are staying in close touch with their family members through the Internet. Again, our example? Dr. Lauber says he is hasfar better communication with this three kids, who have left the house, than he ever had with his own parents because of the Internet.

The Internet allows your child to participate in cultural change and social movements. Did you know Malala Yousafzai, the young Pakistani girl that got shot on a bus by the Taliban but went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014, started at age 12 by blogging about girl’s rights in 2009? All over the world young people’s voices are being heard because the Internet allows that to happen.

Social media can also contribute to volunteering, voting, and donating. Many young people are civically engaged in their own neighborhoods and communities because of the power of social media. In fact, one 16-year-old created an app called “Sit with Us” to help kids find a group of students to eat lunch with so they would never again have to eat lunch alone.

Finally, creativity is also prospering through the Internet.  Apps and software for writing, photography, videography, and more, are popular with tween and teens. They allow even the youngest to discover their expressive and creative side.

What can you do?

We think you can help your tween by focusing on the good happening in the world. And by remembering that technology is just a tool. It can be used for good or bad. Teach them appropriate use of each app or software they install. And role model good behavior. Maybe you can show them how to learn about volunteering opportunities in their own community. Or how to turn their passion for any social cause into progress and action by learning how to communicate and possibly mobilize their community.

In the end you have a far greater influence on your tween/teen than they are likely to admit.  Keep it positive. Balance out all of that “bad news” media. And teach that an act of kindness really does go a long way. Even farther, in many ways, than the Internet.

For more good stuff like this, check out Diana Graber’s great book “Raising Humans in a Digital World”.